Our First Embrace...

February 8, 2008

 

          Today I kissed my son for the first time, I dreamed for this day to come and finally, it is here. Finally, God granted this mother’s prayer.

          I was at the nursery of The Philippine General Hospital at eleven in the morning. I looked at my Timothy through the plastic glass of his incubator. I placed my mouth near one of its holes so he could hear me and somehow feel my presence. I called out his name. . . Timmy. . . Timothy. . . I usually sing to him everytime I visit so I started to whisper the simple melody to him as I placed my finger on his palm. . .

          “I”ll love you forever,

          I’ll like you for always…”

           He responded to the familiar tune by grasping my finger tightly. He struggled to open his eyes and with much effort searched for the voice he’s known from the womb. He found me and gave me a small smile.

          “as long as I’m living…”

          I didn’t get to finish the one-stanza lullaby. Tears were streaming down my face and my voice was trembling. I couldn’t enunciate the lyrics but  my heart continued…

          “my Timothy you’ll be.”

          Today, I carried him for the longest time. He was tiny and he felt so light. For the first time, I was granted our first embrace. For the first time I held him in my arms when he cried and I was there to console him. For the first time I was there when he needed to be comforted in a moment of distress.

          I watched his face looking so calm and at peace. I felt him fall asleep., and I kissed him… I continued to slowly rock him and I closed my eyes. I dreamed and prayed for this moment for so many nights. I longed to be with my son this way since I gave birth to him. Now after twenty two days since he came out of this world he slept in my embrace. At long last.

          As Timothy silently rested, the nurse approached to take him away. I knew the blessed moment was about to end so I sang a hopeful goodbye to my little boy…

          “And until we meet again

          Until we meet again

          May God hold you in the palm

          Of His hand…”

          The good Lord has put so much gladness in my heart and like Timmy, I shall lie down in peace as I sleep and look forward to tomorrow… until we meet again.